There’s a version of self-care that looks like bath bombs and bubble baths — and while there’s nothing wrong with either, that’s not quite what I mean when I talk about choosing yourself.
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The difference between self-care and self-tending
Self-care, in its commodified form, has become about adding things in. Self-tending is about turning toward yourself with the same quality of attention you’d offer someone you love.
It’s slower. It’s quieter. And it usually doesn’t make for great Instagram content.
What choosing yourself actually looks like
It might look like saying no to something that drains you, even when you can’t quite articulate why. It might look like taking five minutes before a meeting to breathe and land in your body. It might look like noticing when you’re running on empty and pausing — not pushing through.
These are radical acts in a world that prizes productivity above all else.
An invitation
What is one thing you could do today — not to be a better version of yourself, but simply to be kind to yourself, as you are right now?